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XoXOALwAyz07
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Name: Tammy
Birthday: 5/23/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: I enjoy a good piece of art, doesn't have to be legit, ill interpret it my way. Music is my therapy, I have a soundtrack to my life. I have too many expectations for myself, when I should just live life as it's presented to me. Right now change is in progress in my life...... Not the good kind of change, its the hard kind.. But I need to learn to adjust. My beloved dog passed away recently, it's been the first death ive faced to someone that I was super close to, It really woke me up too..... RIP Dotcom, I love you always. <3<3<3
Expertise: shopping, picking right from wrong, eatting, making you smile, folding stars, making weird faces/lips, and fashion .......... if i wanna.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  InnocentXgrl07
Member Since:
7/16/2003
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| I am sore like a mutha !... Idunno why, its my neck, abs, and right arm. Crazy. HAHA, and im still gonna go session tonight cuz i hadnt practiced dancing in 3 weeks! I gotta keep it up, i aint gonna quit on this, Not again. =p. So anyways.. this week had alota chill days, but i know its gonna bite me in the ass, cuz next week is gonna be packed... basically, ima needa finish my Video Proj, I have my 2nd midterm for CS8, Gotta finish the script for Culture Night, and Got a mini paper for Art History, PLUS registering for classes next week. BUT!! we get Wednesday off! so thats a relief. =) That will be my catch up day.
So i had a job interview at the Learning Center on campus on Tuesday. I think it went ok... im praying i got the job, its basically tutoring people. 12.18/hr. I want i want! =) haha. They'll call me by next week to let me know. The other job interview i had last week never called back this week. oo well... didnt want it as much as this one.
I got a game plan happening right now, basically not contact him for a while..... see if he starts to miss me. I needa learn to do shit for myself and not seem easy for him. Tryna learn that if i love me more, Id take this time to get back to me, cuz i let myself suffer for a whole damn year. Needa shake it off now.
AHHAHAH so theres this makeup contest on a youtuve channel i watch, its based on a holiday, and i choose... birthdays. HAHAH i consider it a holiday <3 so i did a youtube video on that for my makeup. its kinda lame... My video is super bad quality and stuff. haha but i figure there wasnt as much video entries, higher chance in winning?? hahah winner gets some makeup brushes. Im down for that. so yaaaaa. heres some flix ::
 
 
Gonna go session now. Lateeees
Tammy
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Dont you hate it when your life is going good, your dealing with what happened long ago just fine. Until he suddenly comes back into the picture and messes up your whole progress you built up? You just wish he'd stop playing games with you and tell you really whats up, and not give you all the typical bullshit that floats around in society. Is it just me thats letting him back in again and again? Is this my fault that i allow him to embody pain towards myself? Its hard to stop loving someone, especially when you two have been together for so long... its not just that i just love him, but even worst, i'm still in-love with him. But why?? He messes with my emotions now, he doesn't greet me with open arms after not seeing me for 3 weeks. Can it just be the memories and the perception of him i use to have of him?? I want to let that go so bad, because as we all know... with time, people change. This old him that i hold close to my heart is only a figment of my imagination now. Or does he still exist? I just i wouldn't let myself stick around to find out, but i can't help it. But i need to, or it's going to slowly devour my whole identity of what i need in a man/best friend/partner in crime/potential love. They weren't kidding when they said First loves are hard to forget. I just wish in my case i had the will to do it. I need to love myself more and shake off these feelings, in order for me to become a more stable and better person. I can't wait till the day comes where i can finally say...... " I am not in love with you no more..."
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| BACK IN SD for the weekend.
and whats even cooler is that ima be coming back next week too, cuz its my fathers birthday dinnner!! FUN TIMES, the whole family is basically gonna be there. =) and the chow family is gonna be looking hott! haha. But yeah... juss chillen here right now then gonna go shopping with the sister. She needs a dress for next week.. and she wanna go look for a costume. I dont even know what ima be yet either.. haha. No ideas! But well see what i pull outa my bag. So this coming week its gonna be another busy one. Still working on the details for the culture night script, Chinese test on Monday, gotta group project due for art history, gotta come up with a theme for my video for video art ASAP! But hopefully it goes by fast. =) Still in the process of tryna find another job, cuz my theater one is slowwww. I NEED MONEY NOW! haha. i got paid thursday even though i didnt work, cuz it was cancelled last min. =) but it was only an hours worth. but moneys moneys right? haha.
I havent been going to the gym as often anymore!! cuz i keep forgettin my shoes, but im also super busy. But i have been doing squats everynight. like 50. and like 20 girl push up a night. Well.. i guess walking to campus is a lil workout too. haha its like a 10min walk... if i powerwalk. plus i havent had alota time to eat. thats so unhealthy. Im also starting to practice my break dancing more...But im working on that. i dont wanna become super thin skinny. i like womenly curves. =) haha its beautiful. So right now, ima go get dressed for the day, and eat. oo damn i forgot to eat again! haha. i will not develop an eatting disorder! hahahah ya right,love food too much. <3
Recently i found out a friend of mine had passed away. I wasnt super close to him, but he was my neighboor at the dorms. He was the nicest guy i have meet in a long ass time. There was this time he was locked out his room, well his roommates gf was in there sleeping. And he didnt wanna wake her up, and so he juss stood outside. I saw him out there alone, so i went to go kick it with him and talk.......i hadnt talked to him much since that time, just a few hellos. Towards the end of that year i noticed he didnt live there no more, i heard he was sick but i didnt know to what extent. When i had that conversation with him, he had never mentioned or even looked sick. It really makes me really appreciate life. My friend seemed more like a positive thinker, never seemed like a bitter one. I needa take that mentality and apply it to my own life. You never know when your last day is, with that saying, "live like its your last day" or whatever....... i mean thats kinda true. Why wait to do something when you got today to do it. Always remind the people who are there for you that you appreciate them and love them. I got no time for negativity in my life, that only kills you faster. We only get one life, and i intend to live it well. I wish i had gotten to know my friend better, but that woulda just been more painful for me. But his death has still affected me.
Just needed to write down my thoughts.
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| why is the weather so gloomy?!
it makes me feel so lazy and sad for some reason. PLUS gotta go outside to go to classes, i rather stay indoors and drink hot tea , watch movies and cuddle with my stuffed animals. HAHA! but no. So i got class at 2pm and its 12 right now, chill for another hour before i go out there in the cold. I woke up this morning and my throat was hurting a lil, and that usually means im gettin sick, but i needa fight and, i dont wannna get sick!! Plus my back is sore for some reason, maybe from my 50 squats i did last night. haha... Ima be on campus till like.... 10pm today. SUCKSS! got we gotta CSA meeting tonight, so ima juss stay at the library till that happens. Ive noticed i barely get time to just kick it, only on weekends. Thats why i dread weekdays. So much work, things due, people to meet up with, and all that stuff. Oo damnit, jus remmebered i gotta midterm this thursday. OOo im planning on going home this weekend. =) its too boring here on weekends. Omgggggg im sleepy, i wanna go back to bed!! =(
Im bored, so ima take some random pictures to make me happy. haha!
 
 
 
 
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| H E L L O.
Staying At Riverside this week, even though theres stuff happening back home, like Malik's Bboy Jam && Tammy Trans Dinner Party......... I shoulda went home huh?. Idunno, cuz if i do, i woulda came back home like 4 times this month. & thats too much gas!! Sucks... cuz i wish i was home. But i did go to a kick back tonight, with CSA. HAHAH it was actually fun. Drunk people, and 10finger games. WOW!! hahah... i was the only DD. GOOD FOR ME!! Im actually not into gettin all drunk, i believe you can still have a crunk time being sober. Ill ONLY drink for special occasions, and in the right environment ((Good friends and Family)) haha. So my plans this weekend...... CLEAN my damn room and bathroom, Grocery Shop, and STUDY. cuz i gotta midterm next weeek. and other work. PLUS been working on the script for CultureNight. ((APRIL 10th, mark it on your calendar)). =)
Been noticing that creepers and desperate guys always tryna hangout with me...... idunno what to do. Is it just me thinking their creepers because im still not over my EX? Or is my creeper radar happening. hahah NO IDEA. but i dont wanna find out the hardway. So of coarse ima be smart about my decisions. I aint stupid and easy. I really dont need attention from boys to make myself feel better. I got ME, MYSELF, &I....... plus "him"..=p. I really do feel like im gettin use to being on my own, but i always do have that feeling needing him in my everyday life.... but whatever...... haha.
I should be gettin to sleep now, its 1:23am. damn! haha. oo WELL... getta SLEEP IN!!
Oo yeah.... im super poor now too. I cant afford to go out alot and spend money. I really need another job ASAP!!!!
I dont wanna mooch of my parents no more, needa do my own thing and provide for myself..... or atleast paying for some of my expenses. =p
WHAT SHOULD I BE FOR HALLOWEEN. i want something really creative, so that i can do crazy makeup!! =)
 
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